Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
