My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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