Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
