Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
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