Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
