I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
