is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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