1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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