I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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