Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
