How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
