im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
