no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
