yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
my being single is dangerous.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
