I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
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