yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
