I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
