Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Randomize
