You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Randomize
