it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
MIDGETS
????
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
