It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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