I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
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