just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
