Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
