Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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