The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
