Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
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