I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
