i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
