That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
My legs feel like baby dolphins
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
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