Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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