Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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