Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Randomize
