i just wanna soil my oats bro
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
