Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
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