I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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