is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
