When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
