He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
