so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
