Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
