All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
he fucked my hip out of place.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
