i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Randomize
