We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
