I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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