OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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