They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
