I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
