He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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