i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
