Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
