just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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