i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
