do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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