gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Randomize
