and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize