So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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