it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
