dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
