She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
