Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
