I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
