Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
