I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Randomize
