Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
