Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
