she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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