Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
